O Read, O Read, The Manual
(Sung to the tune of "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel")
    Copyright (c), Gary T. Leavens, 1995.

O read, O read, the man--ual,
it answers all your questions well;
it tells you how to do this and that,
with grace and ease, in no--thing flat.
O read, O read, the man--ual,
it answers all your questions well.

I've tried, I've tried, O soft--ware pro,
to read it to find out-- what you know;
but it's not geared for fo--lk like me,
it doesn't show me how, you see.
I've tried, I've tried, the manual,
But I'm still stuck in software (hmmm).

O read, O read, the help-- online,
if you look there I'm sure that you'll be fine;
it gives the options, and the commands,
to customize it so you won't need hands!
O read, O read the help-- online,
it helps you run your software fine.

I pressed, I pressed, the F-- one key,
to see the help, just li--ke you told me,
but still it's no-- help to me,
it doesn't show me ho--w, you see.
I pressed, I pressed, the F-- one key,
But it's no help, that I-- can see.

OK, OK, I'll show-- you how,
to do what you have asked about just now;
for I know that you're not-- a dunce;
if it were clearer, I'd have time for lunch!
Rejoice! rejoice! The man--ual,
is not clear, but I'll show you well.