by Me, December 30, 2002
(Don't take this too seriously. Consider this as a form of entertainment):
Women:
- I still don't understand them.
- Getting a girl a bear is a smooth option. Getting her a calendar isn't.
- Never buy girls clothing for presents. If the size is too small, she'll scream at you for causing her "pain and suffering" from having to go to the store to exchange it. If the size is too big, she'll scream at you for thinking she's fat.
- Never go shoe-shopping with them. In fact, malls should have all-women days and all-men days. On all-women days, they can bring out all the fancy decorations and open all the shoes and clothing stores. On all-men days, they just need to open Walmart.
Relationships:
- It is always the guy's fault.
- Everyone, even those faithfully and madly in love, has a plan B.
- Having a girl friend is still the number one leading cause of bankruptcy.
- Women want the world, while guys only want three things in this order: food, sex, and silence
- If there is a points scale on how likely a guy is going to get a girlfriend in college, I must set the standard for the bottom of the scale: I am majoring in computer science in the engineering part of a school with a 65/35 male/female spilt.
Modern Society:
- Computer will take over the world eventually. The only way to slow this down is to keep using faulty Microsoft software.
- Banning the research of cloning in the United States due to politics and morality issues = weirdo cults leading the advancement of this topic.
- Every state needs to change the driving part of the license test. For example, the licensing department should make the person take the driving test on every car he/she has immediate access to. Also, if some 16-year old cheerleader is going to get an Expedition from mommy and daddy, make her take the test with the huge piece of metal. I don't want to find out that she can't look over the steering wheel when she runs my car over.
Other Stuff:
- Nothing ever changes in Seattle except the traffic: it just gets worse.
- The only difference between winners and losers in a casino is that winners know when to stop.
- I need to get a shirt that says "No, I will not fix your computer".
- No one ever reads what I write, but I'm still updating the website . . .